In the Grip of Grace

This past weekend, I was so blessed to invite an old friend to stay for the weekend. This year she had been on my heart so much and Louise and I would often talk about our friend and wonder how we lost touch and how can we find her again. Louise had never erased a phone message our friend had left on her machine from maybe 2 years earlier, but no tel# was left. We had only had one of our conversations on the weekend over tea, when I went to a meeting on the following Wednesday to listen to a group of people who had come back from Zimbabwe and wanted to start a program where they could help fight the battle of the HIV and Aids Pandemic. As the meeting ended my husband and I turned around and there was our friend at the back of the room (I will not post her name for personal reasons) and my heart skipped a beat I wanted to cry on the spot. She stood there looking as radiant as ever with this beautiful smile across her face, she stood with another old acquaintance so it was double the joy. We had the pleasure of seeing the other acquaintance proclaim her new faith in Jesus when she was baptized in early 2000 or 2001.

I noticed she struggled to find some words and as we chatted she told us she could no longer drive because she was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumor in March of this year. It was like someone had let the air out of my lungs, I was in shock wanting to cry but not wanting to make her uncomfortable so I had to put my drama skills into action. Yet as she shared she still held much hope, she had been to visit her son over Christmas and snook into her country, (she was forced to leave her country many years ago leaving her son behind) and ever since we had been praying the Government would issue a passport so he could join his mom. Well we are still praying and hoping that soon they can be re-united as the process seems a little closer but things can change so quickly in this country with corruption at every corner.

For the past 9 months I had feared for my own daughters life as she served in Baghdad, (a place we could not publicly say at that time as this could bring harm to her life) but now she has left, we are relieved, each day was a blessing each email message was a Praise to God - he kept her safe to complete the work set before her.

I find myself now wondering about my dear friend and what lies ahead - it is no coincidence that God's message in church is speaking right into my life, we are studying Paul's letter to the Phillipians when he was in prison. Philippians 1:20-26 For I live in eager expectations and hope that I will never do anything that causes me shame, but that I will always be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past, and that my life will always honor Christ, whether I live or I die. For me, living is for Christ, and dying is even better. Yet if I live, that means fruitful service for Christ, I really don't know which is better. I'm torn between two desires: Sometimes I want to live, and sometimes I long to go and be with Christ. That would be far better for me, but it is better for you that I live.

This is how I want to live my life for Christ, if I am to stay here on earth, then each day I want to serve Him. I want to be the better in other people's lives as they interact with me. My friend is already going through the process of volunteering at one of the hospitals in Toronto where she now lives. She is a true picture of humilty and grace, continuing to serve God in her time of suffering.

My dear friend explains how blessed she has been since her diagnosis, as she said, some people never get to know they only have a certain time to live, their life on this earth can be taken in a heart beat, to my friend everything has taken on a new light, she no longer rushes from one thing to the next but takes time to let everything take on a new light as though learning to see the beauty for the first time. Yes there are times when she is overcome but the Lord picks her up and whispers love into her life, that He continues to let her know He is with her in her suffering, and provides a circle of friends to lift her up.

What if we all lived like the song _live like you were dying? Would we not spend endless hours worrying about things we have no control over, wasting time fighting with each other, struggling and going into debt to buy things we can not take with us from this life, and passing people by who need a friendly hello.

I am hoping my friend will visit as often as she needs to so that she can have a break and we can love on her. We enjoyed our weekend together, we laughed and ate, talked our Africa, put the world to rights and took a trip out to the country. To finish our time together we went to a praise night where I could secretly cry in the darkness, pray, sing and lift Jesus name on high amidst the pain in my heart for my friend.

I am learning how to love in the midst of pain.
Please help me in joining in prayer for our friend, God knows her name, it is written already on His heart.

Michelle

Where Have I Been?

There is no excuse, it has been nearly over 2 months since I posted a devotional blog on my site. The problem is I sit in front of a computer all day at work, when I get home, my teenagers have taken root infront of the computer and then I forgot how to get onto my site to post a blog and get frustrated, so I just sit and read my sisters blogs. Now my home computer has crashed again for the 2nd time this year, I am even more frustrated at how our lives seem to be controlled by electronic gadgets.

Time does go faster as you get older - it just keeps ticking, I sometimes wonder about the first days of creation, some theologians say we don't know how long the day was in the first 3 days, until God created to Sun and Moon and created the day. Somedays I wish for one of those days that doesn't end and the energy to go with it so that I can catch up on so many things you just don't get to do working full-time.

Let me count my blessings that each day at work begins with devotionals, and I get to go to church twice a week, once at work and once in the weekend. I call it my topping up time on Wednesday's, although I am blessed each week, but there is something about being blessed with different speakers giving the message each week and learning to appreciate the different talents and worship styles as we sing, and learn more about being like Christ.

I have many blessing, I have a husband who loves me and his daughters, I have an older daughter serving in the mission field pouring out her heart for the Lord, a teen who is learning to find herself and her independence (not the easiest letting go) and a younger daughter who loves to worship, I have 5 wonderful friends in ministry, I work with such loving and dedicated colleagues/friends at work, and I have such wonderful friends outside of these areas. Many of whom we are going camping with this weekend. YEH!!!!!

So where have I been, I have been immersed in the Love of God, learning to appreciate so much that I have, and tonight I have my husbands laptop and after 10 attempts, finally worked out my password to post a blog. I suffer from a bad memory but I try really hard.

I love to read scripture especially Isaiah 6:3 - Talks about the angels 'in a great chorus they sang, "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD almighty! The whole earth is filled with His glory!" Sometimes we don't feel like it because of evil and selfish desires we are bombarded with each day and because of our own choices, but God is at work and we can still see His Glory here on earth. We can bring glory to God by our actions and love to others.

Psalm 115:1 - Not to us, O Lord, but to you goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfullness.

I hope you experience the opportunity of giving God glory by helping someone in need.

With much love,

Michelle

Tea at the Whitehouse

Well you would think I am special, like royalty to be invited to Tea at the White House. Well actually I invited myself and took my friend L. Her last name is White and so I always get a giggle saying we are going for tea at the White House, but this time, it is not a L's house - it is at the White House, but not the one that would come to your mind. This White House is a tea shop in Waterdown, Ontario that serves high tea, with scones, jam and clotted cream - well we are both from England and so this is a special treat to enjoy this time together outside on the patio. A last minute idea that meant so much.

On the table next to us was probably 3 generations of women, Grandma, Mom and her daughter I am guessing around 7, and possibly another Aunt. The little girl was dressed in a lovely yellow dress and she had her very own 3-tier sandwich tray with fruit, scones and little triangle sandwiches. I wonder if she realises just what a real princess she is. Well we had Coronation tea, from England, Earl Grey with Jasmine and a few other flavours, it is just so special to have tea with a friend, and the scones are to die for - I hope you visit. I actually bought some of the loose tea to bring home and enjoy. Tell me your favourite!

This day was my Friday off work and I had planned out many chores to accomplish that day - finish an album for Anita's birthday, vacuum, polish, laundry - oh the list was long, it still is and it always will be - but special moments with friends are rare jewels that you can not put a value on - I am so very fortunate to have many jewels in my life and they are more precious than any rubies, diamond or emeralds. Love, laughter and being a friend is what living is about. That means with your neighbours too!

Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. 3 John 1:5


This is a picture of the real White House, in Waterdown, Ontario.

Friends are the flavour of life!

His Eye is on the Sparrow

Reflecting still on Mother's Day even though this blog is a bit late, my quiet time just doesn't go away these days so I thought if I blogged it you would understand why.
Being a mother of teenagers, with additional job of unpaid taxi, cooking, handing out money here and there and the morning battles to be in the car on time so that I can deliver these precious parcels to school and I can hopefully arrive at work on time. Jesus knew what he was doing when I was given the opportunity of this new job, it is somewhat flexi-time so I can make up the minutes I arrive after 8:30 to the end of the day and no one is checking their watch when I walk in.
This mother's day had it's own challenges, my eldest daugher still in the Middle East and her life in the hands of God everyday, my middle teenager working and choosing not to spend anytime with me, and seeing a picture of myself in my daugher's garbage can on the morning of mother's day. Not a good way to start the day but I constantly had my conversation with God throughout all the moments of the day. Although there were moments I found it hard to keep it together, at any moment I thought if someone said the wrong thing (not even knowing what that wrong thing was) Niagara Falls would burst in banks at the very moment.
Well I have my days when I struggle with the fact "does anyone notice all the stuff I am doing, will it get any easier, will my children understand the reasons a mother has to do the things she does?". It brought me to read of a book called "The invisible woman, when only God sees" a gift from my beautiful friend and sister in ministry Louise. During the course of the book it reflects on the great cathedrals, the author once received a book on cathedrals with the inscription from her family "with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when only God sees". Many of these cathedrals were built by masonry, carpentry and stained glass trades people whose names history will never reveal. Many will have died on the job, devoting their lives and service to something they would not see finished. One story shared a man watching a carpenter carve a tiny bird into the inside beam that would be eventually covered over by the stone roof - the man asked by the worker was spending so much time on something no one would ever see and without a blink of an eye the worker told him "because God sees".
This book moved me to tears and an acceptance of my position in life with my family and my girls. I have started a work that I will probably not be around to see finished and all my hard work that often feels like no-one sees, God sees everything.

What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin ? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. Matthew 10:29 NLT

So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. Matthew 10:31 NLT

She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." Genesis 16:13

Know how much you are loved.

Michelle

Jesus my Carpenter Friend

Well have you ever had a wonderful weekend and then you come home and you feel like have been hit with a 2 x 4. Sometimes life has a way of taking you off guard, well I had the most wonderful uplifting weekend with some of my favourite girlfriends as we went on our road trip to Rochester, NY for the Women of Faith conference. Yes we have a women's ministry but you just have to go get plugged in once in a while and be on the receiving end and we really enjoy our time together.

Well we had quite the ride, I was trying my best not to be the back seat driver but I couldn't help myself once in a while, and yes Anita and I were way in the back. Anita had emailed us prior and gave us all funny names before leaving - well when the air jets were going it was like blast off in our cramped little area - we can't complain really, since we are the shortest in the bunch, I couldn't image our Kimberley or Cheri squished back there, and we got quite the work out getting in and out climbing over the chairs. Always the optomist. Then when our van had been sitting in the sun baking, there was no air at the back we thought we would die in our little sauna. Our ride didn't stop their either, after breakfast our last day, we took a pit stop in at the "Go Karts" I knew for starters Louise would not be beat, she is determined for the finish line just like her faith. Then there were a few of us cut off just when things were going good - and I can tell you we didn't like it and there were grumblings. Well I have had time to reflect on my grumblings and being cut off and my back seat driving, I am sure God is looking down at me smiling as he keeps trying different methods to teach me to handle them as they come my way. Well my daughter is in the Middle East and being put in some very compromising positions with her security which is causing tensions all around.

I had to stop and talk to God and just put myself in the pit-stop for a while for re-adjustments, get some new tires so that I can get a grip on life and get everything in perspective. Things are getting better and we are all focusing on the right actions to take for the right reasons - we are not out of the storm but God is my umbrella and I have taken the 2 x 4 mentally and made it into a cross, since our Jesus has already conquered all. In my groaning, I am sure the Holy Spirit was advocating on my behalf.

1Cr 15:28
Then, when he has conquered all things, the Son will present himself to God, so that God, who gave his Son authority over all things, will be utterly supreme over everything everywhere.

If you don't know Nicole C. Mullen you should check our her latest CD release - the songs have kept me going this past week as I sing them over and over in my car and in my head at work.

Thank you God for good friends and the stillness - where I hear your voice.

Love Michelle

I Stand at the Door and Knock

Well I have to share this little story that was shared at chapel today and it made me giggle so much at the same time made me think about not judging a situation.

A new pastor of a church thought one day he would go visit his parishoners, as his day went on he stopped by one ladies house and knocked on the door. He knocked again and saw a shadow through the sheers of someone cross the floor but no one appeared at the door to open it, he knocked again (now knowing someone was inside) but again nothing. So he took out a business card and wrote on the back Revelation 3:20 (Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me).

On Sunday as the collection plate was passed around the business card was found inside the plate with another scripture added to it. Genesis 3:10 ("I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."). Who said God's word does not have an answer for all of life's situations! But I had to ponder, sometimes we judge before we know the situation.

Well I confess the above little tidbit gave me a good belly laugh and I hope it does for you. I seriously believe we have all the answers in God's word, we just have to know where to go and we don't learn that until we understand it, which takes time and guidance. I would love to help guide you to certain passages that may help you along your journey, pray with you, praise God with you and give Him the glory that is honoring only to Him.

My life verse: Jeremiah 29:11-15 - 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the Lord.

CAPTIVATED - WOMEN WHO LOVED JESUS

Wow! We have all just got back from our April 2007 Weekend retreat in Niagara Falls Renaissance Fallsview Hotel where we spent the weekend being Captivated by Jesus and learning about the women of the bible who were captivated by Jesus. Not forgetting the laughter and fun we all shared - Ladies you blew me away with your participation in our first PJ Party in the ballroom - crazy fun!

I have to say I miss all you women who attended this retreat greatly and look forward to our time together next April and connecting with you by email or through this blog (michelle@AHFMinistries.com), Sunday morning was a sad day as we realised our time together was coming to a close but knowing our time to give our relationship with Jesus a greater importance in our lives was being re-focused.

Again we were very fortunate to have Blessings bookstore partner with us, and in doing so I picked up Charles Sheldon's book "In His Steps", while soaking in the tub I was inspired as soon as I opened up the beginning pages of a journey a church had decided to take. After a life changing and challenging experience with a destitute man, who was turned away by the pastor and yet while he was under a seat in the church, the pastor gave a message about following Jesus, he stood up and asked them "What does it mean to follow Jesus". He heard others singing a song "all for Jesus, all for Jesus, all my beings ransomed powers, all my thoughts and all my doings, all my days and all my hours. Yet no one offered to help him when he asked, until he stood in the church with these questions and then passed out due to illness and later died in the Pastors home. This lead members of the congregation deciding for 1 year they would not make a decision without first asking the question "What would Jesus Do?" Quite a challenging task I would imagine for us in the Western World. One that I am personally going to focus on.

I am looking forward to the journey through this book as it challenges me, inspires me and encourages me. I hope to share tidbits from this book over tea with you!

It was exciting this weekend to announce the new name of our ministry "At His Feet" where else would you prefer to be than at the feet of Jesus. Choose the best things for you - Jesus did not come to condemn but to save. He has a better life waiting from you if you don't already know Him, He is calling YOUR name! God Bless, Michelle